Saturday, January 27, 2007

List: Reasons I hate the movie Pride & Prejudice (2005)

To be specific, I am referring to the 2005 Keira Knightley adaptation of one of the greatest novels of all time, which I recently watched again for purposes academic.

  1. Keira Knightley's performance. She rushes her lines, can't emote, and the director insists on shooting her face directly from the front—not her best angle. I can't believe she was nominated for an Oscar for this.
  2. Jena Malone's voice. The actress plays Lydia as if she always spoke in falsetto. Perhaps it was the only way the American Malone could deliver the English accent.
  3. A tonally different, quiet performance from Donald Sutherland. The man elevates anyone in the same scene as him (ahem, Keira), but his laid back, grave performance doesn't fit with the movie's gigglier tone. It's as if he's on Valium while everyone else is on Prozac.
  4. The Script. Oh, god, the script. Mixes Austen's sharp dialogue with stupid lines like "For god's sake, leave me alone!" or "Don't judge me, Lizzie! Don't you dare judge me!"
  5. The Bonte-fication of the movie in the second half, including Knightley standing at the top of a wind-blown precipice, an outdoor, rain-soaked proposal at what looks to be fake Roman ruins, and a sunrise reconciliation in a foggy field.
  6. And finally (and most egregiously), the kissy ending. It's just as moronic as I remembered it. Full capitulation to romance conventions. To wit:


There's more, but that's enough for now.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

iPost

If there was ever any doubt about how distinctive the Apple aesthetic has become, here's proof. This is from a contest in which participants were to create products that Apple could make, but that already existed, including iToasters, an iWatch, and this awesome iPottie:



Full list here. Entries appear according to rank, so they're not as good the further down you go. There are many more toilets, many of which hint at how much the original clamshell iBooks resembled a toilet seat cover.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Love Between Two Guys

This weekend I accidentally caught the all-musical episode of Scrubs on TV. While it's not quite as good as Buffy's Once More With Feeling, it was still very amusing, including the following requisite love ballad, this time sung as a duet between heterolifemates Turk and J.D. Click here if video doesn't work.



P.S. I just realized that this post is post #100. This post. Not an erudite dissection of virtue and architecture in Clarissa, not a witty list of reasons I refuse to get out of bed before noon on Sundays, not a rant about the people on my block who don't shovel their sidewalks even though there's a snow shovel on their front porch, but this, a YouTube video of the guy from Clueless and the guy from Garden State singing to each other. Happy 100, Excessively Diverted.

Clarissa to pg. 653. Plus, something funny.

In this post: Self-recrimination and a funny Clarissa story.

My progress through the novel has been unacceptably slow. I thought that tracking my progress on this blog would keep me honest and diligent; instead, it's made me less likely to post.

When I last posted, Clarissa was still at home. She has since been tricked away, through a strategem involving a bribed servant, by the rake Lovelace. Her family believes that she left of her own accord and therefore have given her up for ruined. Clarissa still corresponds with her best friend and Lovelace with his; these letters form the bulk of the middle of the novel. After staying a farm house for a week or so, Lovelace finally persuades Clarissa to go to London and stay at what he claims is a reputable house, but in reality is two houses linked by a passage, one facing the street and one facing the back garden. Clarissa takes up residence in the inner house; the outer house is a brothel.

The novel drags in the middle. One Clarissa gets to the Sinclair house, she's completely in Lovelace's control, though she does not know it. Some letters in this section describes events that have no direct relation to the central plot. At this point, Lovelace manages to get at some of Clarissa's letters, so one of his letters is a summary and commentary on her letters. There's even an interesting cross-cutting (to use a film term) of letters at one point in which the "editor" of the entire book interrupts a Lovelace letter to insert Clarissa's point of view of the same incident from one of her letters, and then resumes with Lovelace's original letter. There is much overlap in the events described in both letters (since Lovelace is also staying at the house—albeit in another room), but Richardson keeps it interesting because the two warring factions interpret events differently.

Previously, I had flagged the page where the rape occurs, which is not until the page 800's. I can see that flag while I read, and it's a clear indication of how far I have to go before I get to the most difficult section, and also how little I've actually read.

And now the story: I attended Prof. Bruce Stovel's memorial service on Thursday, where I admit I wept for the first 30 minutes. Many stories were shared, including one that was read out from an e-mail. The former student wrote about taking a novel class with Bruce, in which they were reading Clarissa. One day Bruce realized that the edition that they were reading gives away the ending in the blurb (I have that edition). He was incensed, and at the beginning of class, told his students that those lucky enough to be early and on time for class would get to see something unusual. Bruce then proceeded to punt the heavy book. To everyone's shock, it sailed across the room and landed, appropriately, in the garbage can. When Bruce went to fish it out, the class saw that the book had split in half due to the force of the kick.

I've flung a library book across the room before (angry at Marilyn Butler's blantant misreading of a passage in Emma) but I have never been enraged enough to kick a book for its paratextual failings. I'm going to miss that man.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Giles, is that you?

Shot from an article about the latest TV production of Jane Austen's Persuasion, in which Anthony Stewart Head, late of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, plays the vain, proud Sir Walter Elliot. For the full post on Austenblog (and a link to a PDF of the article), click here.

For my money, it's hard to envision anyone but the incomparable Amanda Root as Anne Elliot, but we shall see how this goes. Alas, I'm not too fond of the ladies' hairstyles—a bit too severe, even with the softening curls around the face.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Space Travel

Spurred by the deadline of an Air Canada seat sale, tonight I booked my research trip to England. I leave Wed., April 25 and return Wed., May 16, which leaves me with a little less than three weeks (excluding flight time and time zone changes and jet lag) to explore everything domestic and interior in England. And also to go to embark on Part II of the Jane Austen Tour of England: Chawton Cottage and Lyme Regis (Nicole--want to come with?). And if there's time, France beckons. Or Wales. Or Scotland. Or Ireland. I'm totally feeling the wanderlust right now.

Currently, my biggest concern is accommodation. I do not plan to stay with Nicole for the entire time, and am hoping to get in touch with friends of friends in London, etc., and perhaps occasionally stay in hostels and B&Bs in the countryside. Too bad Karine's not already overseas doing library school. Sheffield looks pretty close to Chatsworth (country house) and to Derbyshire in general.

In the future, I see more planning: scouring the Rough Guides to England and London, possibly buying a Hostelling International membership, and contacting the Geffrye's museum about their archival collection, which unfortunately is not catalogued online.

I guess that means I'm going to have to write this dissertation after all.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Obsessive much?

Got home from an afternoon Stitch and Bitch knitting session to find an e-mail from my sister linking to a hilarious movie trailer, recut to make Mary Poppins look like a horror movie.

I've actually seen the fake trailer before, which might explain my reaction: I noticed her pretty pink scarf and wondered, "Can I knit that?"