Put away that Facetwiberrier, Mr. MLA

Yet another way that provincial MLAs are no different than university undergrads: they are compelled to text/Facebook/Twitter all time, in this case, during Question Period. And dammit, the Speaker of the House is not going to take it any longer! He's publically chastised members for being on their PDAs during QP.

What kills me about this story are the people speaking against this policy on the record, complaining that the government needs to be in contact with citizens to be effective. But—and this is very important—the ban applies to Question Period only, when MLAs should ostensibly be paying attention. One could argue that Question Period is a waste of time anyway and people might as well be catching up on tweets, but the Speaker can't subscribe to that point of view and must discipline the MLAs. After all, if even the Speaker can't take Question Period seriously, then who can? And really, the constant Twitbookexting is not the actual problem. Instead, it is a sign of how little respect is accorded to Question Period in the first place. So the problem isn't really the technology—it's the fact that no one respects Question Period enough to put the damn phone away.

Oh, yeah, and if this government really wanted to be in touch with Albertans, it wouldn't have kept quiet about environmental charges faced by Suncor regarding dumping sewage in the Athabasca River or passed Bill 18, which will creates strict new regulations about who can see and rent movies, banning unrated movies from video stores, meaning that a lot of foreign film and documentaries won't be legally available for rent. (You know you rents these movies? Me. And I am definitely not under 18.)

This province. GAH.

How to live graduate studently

Or, how living frugally is the new living like a grad student, but less depressing

Giving up cable
Frugal living: saves money, download anyway (or watch content online)
Grad student living: saves money, increases criminal activity (watching restricted online content using workaround, downloading)

Go grocery shopping with a list
Frugal living: reduces impulse buys, helps meal planning
Grad student living: impulse buy consists of $2 bottle of Vitamin water, what meal planning?, list heavy on pasta, frozen food, and reduced-price meat that will be divided and frozen once home

Cut back on eating out
Frugal living: saves money
Grad student living: but not on drinking, right?

Clip coupons
Frugal living: stretches dollar
Grad student living: stretches dollar, exacerbates hoarding mentality, increases preparations for coming apocalypse/unemployment in the real world

Cutting down on driving
Frugal living: saves gas money and insurance costs, saves the environment
Grad student living: saves gas money and insurance costs, saves the environment, walking to and from grocery store a form of exercise, time spent waiting for bus would have been spent surfing internet anyways, time spent waiting for bus optimistically considered time for reading articles/books, riding public transit doubles as research for novel about quirky, depressing urban life, get to use U-pass that you pay for anyway*

* not applicable to all post-secondary institutions

Canada goes apeshit over Obama; crowns him king

Ima Fakir
Feb. 19, 2009

OTTAWA — In a surprising development, U.S. President Barack Obama was crowned King of Canada today during his first official visit abroad since taking office.

“My fellow… er, my subjects,” His Royal Majesty King Obama said as he addressed the admiring throng gathered on Parliament Hill. “Every day presents us with an opportunity to learn something new. Today, I learned that under a little-known clause in Canada’s Constitution, an internet petition signed by at least three per cent of the population can get a man—a foreigner, no less—crowned monarch. And I thought poutine was the awesomest thing about this country. I mean, cheese curds and gravy? Wow.”

The coronation occurred during what Obama thought was a routine tour of the House of Commons, heretofore renamed the throne room. Prompted by Governor-General Michaëlle Jean, Obama jokingly sat in the Speaker’s Chair, whereupon a crown was placed on his head and a sceptre in his hand.

“Anyonewhoagreestobeking say what,” the Governor General commanded.

“What?” asked a confused Obama.

At the cue, a group of trumpeters hiding in the viewing gallery stood up and played by “God Save the King” while all present bowed.

The newly crowned King Obama spent the rest of the afternoon meeting with Jean and a bevy of constitutional experts behind closed doors, reportedly placing a conference call to Washington D.C. and Buckingham Palace. King Obama emerged over an hour later and gave a soaring coronation speech that filled some listeners with so much hope they spontaneously combusted.

Not all on the hill were pleased with the change in leadership.

“Is Danny Williams behind this?!” asked Prime Minister Stephen Harper, whose duties have been reduced to mostly ceremonial ones. “I’m going to kick his ass!”

International leaders, including German Chancellor Angela Merkel and King Juan Carlos I of Spain, phoned to congratulate King Obama on his expanded duties as leader of the most and least important thirds of North America.

Most of the Canadian provinces and territories welcomed the new king enthusiastically, holding spontaneous, tearful rallies across the country. Alberta was the sole dissenter, having already sworn fealty to King Ralph and thus setting up a potential civil war.

List: Girls' names, place names

My sister and I just wasted a lot of time over Skype tonight coming up with a list of 14 girls names that are also place names, inspired by the roster of America's Next Top Model, cycle 12 (hello, London!). They had to be names that we knew actually existed and they had to be names where the person was conceivably named after the place. It wouldn't surprise me if Tyra Banks were ever to cast an entire cycle's worth of ANTM with the following:

London
Ireland
Dakota
Virginia
Vienna
Asia
Paris
Sydney
Carolina
Florence
Georgia
Amerika
Devon
Brooklyn

We rejected Victoria (too common to be named after a place), considered Brittany (named after Britain), and argued over Oceane (Anna knows of two, but it's not a specific place, and I just don't like the name). Also, we rejected Alberta, because it's not America's Next Top Grandma.

Did we miss any?

The best part of this ad is:

a) the unidentifable brown stuff on the woman's lips
b) the fine print warning users to "not ingest this product"
c) the poorly rendered brown lipstick kiss surrounding "NEW" that I initially thought was a cloud (but of course not, because a cloud would make sense when selling a body spray)



Perhaps this is Axe's attempt to capitalize on Obama's popularity?

List: Things I will never do (child birth edition)

If I ever have a baby, I promise to never

• post an album's worth of Caesarean section photos on Facebook

that is all.

National Film Board online

Canada's amazing National Film Board has just unveiled its revamped website (nfb.ca), which now plays hundreds of classic Canadian movies from the institution's illustrious history. Yes, McLaren's Neighbours is here, and the utterly charming Log Driver's Waltz, and OMFG The Sweater. But the best part is clicking around and finding stuff you've never even heard of (which, admittedly, in Canadian film is a lot of stuff), including this:



Some of the more popular videos seem to be experiencing trouble loading. Hopefully it's a sign of heavy traffic and not just technical difficulties.