Flow chart

Last week, instead of working on my chapter:

I made a flow chart:

Total pages so far: 22 (at a snail's pace)

"Huzza!"

No, this is not a post about being done the chapter. It is a post about the history of language. Sorry to disappoint you twice.

I was skimming a PDF of Maria Edgeworth's selected letters tonight (thank you, Google Books for saving my bacon) and a funny word caught my eye:

Yes, Maria Edgeworth channels Mr. Burns and uses "huzza!" in a letter.

This made me wonder how old the word "huzza" actually is, and so I turn to the good old OED. As an interjection or exclamation, the earliest recorded usage found is from 1682: "these Rogues sing Huzza!"

But as a noun meaning "a shout of exultation or applause; a hurrah", "huzza" goes as far back as at least 1573, over four hundred years ago.

So Maria Edgeworth wasn't exactly ahead of the curve in terms of using "huzzah" in an 1809 letter.

This isn't the first time Edgeworth's idiom has struck me, though. One of the chapters in her novel Belinda is titled "Love Me, Love My Dog". Turns out that phrase? Appears as early as freaking 1475! 1475!

Love me, love my hound. Who knew?

Dear U of A "Annual Giving Office"

Dear U of A "Annual Giving Office":

I am guessing that my e-mail address is on your mailing list because in addition to being a grad student at this fine institution, I am also an instructor and therefore fall into the category of "Faculty and Staff". I received the attached e-mail from you today, and found myself in an awkward, cognitively dissonant position as Instructor-me was canvassed for a donation to benefit Student-me.

You should know that I already support U of A students—one arts student in particular—on a daily basis, providing needs as basic as food, clothing, and shelter. I am uncertain that going to your "NEW Online Giving website" which you tout as "efficient, secure, and most cost effective!" will actually be more efficient for me, since I already have ready access to the money that Instructor-me earns for Student-me. Moreover, I'm afraid I must regretfully decline your suggestion of making a "monthly gift via payroll deduction" because I already do so: it's called my tuition payment.

In closing, U of A Annual Giving Office, allow me to offer you a gift and suggest that you double check your mailing list and remove the names of anyone who is a student. You would come off as less insensitive that way.

Sincerely,

Student-Me

P.S. If you actually have any clout, Giving Office, perhaps you can convince FGSR to give me an extension on my dissertation, since I clearly spend most of my time writing letters to entities that will not write me back (tm McSweeney's). Thanks.

Procrastination/Exit strategies are the mother of all inventions

aka The Academic Equivalent of Kramer, II

Other inventions that I should patent/create/sell and make money from instead of finishing the PhD:

1. A collapsable travel mug. Once you're done your coffee, you're left with an inconvenient, bulky mug that you can't necessarily fit in your bag (especially if the mug has a handle). I once saw a travel cup in a Chapters that was composed of five rings that collapsed down for ease of packing. I can understand how translating that design to a travel mug with the thermal insert would be difficult if not impossible, especially considering that it should absolutely be leak proof, but if any engineer out there can make, patent and profit from this idea, all I ask is for 1% of the gross. That is all. Gross, mind you, not net.

2. A brass monkey toy with detachable/re-attachable balls. The monkey contains some kind of thermometer and when the room temperature (or outside temperature?) falls below a certain point, its balls fall off. Balls need to be re-attachable for replay value.

Double or single?

Ever since I start typing my essays on computer, I have always written my drafts in double space, mainly because the essays were required to be double spaced when handed in. As someone who has marked many essays since then, I can attest to how much easier it is to read double spaced writing.

But I seem to be in the minority when it comes to drafting. Most of my friends write in single spaced. One of them loves that magic moment when you double space an essay and the page count doubles. They've also pointed out that you can see more of what you've already written, thus can keep your thoughts together.

The latter point is an especially apt one now that I'm on (that is, back on) to the dissertation, which contains longer paragraphs than I've ever written in my life. Tonight I picked up chapter three where I left off (many months ago... sigh) and made everything single spaced. The page count was not as pretty (or in the double digits) but it was nice to develop a paragraph while still being able to see the topic sentence. Also, I realize that the other reason I've always double spaced is because Times New Roman looks too crowded when single spaced. Now that I've set Garamond as my default typefact, I no longer have that problem.

Pages written tonight: 1 double spaced (baby steps)

Pages written so far: 18 db sp

Pride and Prejudice and... vampires?

Dear HarperCollins:

Stop trying to capitalize on a the popularity of a certain teen vampire romance by trying to turn a perfectly good Jane Austen novel in Twilight Pride and Prejudice (aka Sparkly Mr. Darcy). It's embarrassing for all of us:

And don't get me started on your blurb:

"Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her."

With all the forces of the world conspiring to keep Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet apart, how will fate manage to bring them together? It certainly won't be easy if they're fighting it every step of the way. But theirs is a love that was meant to be, despite all the odds against them.

One of the most captivating love stories of all time, Jane Austen's enduring masterpiece is beloved by generation after generation. Beautifully presented for a modern teen audience, this is the must-have edition of a timeless classic.

You might be selling it a bit hard, there, considering that there aren't many emotional outpourings in Austen's social satire.

I think you should have gone with the zombies.

Sincerely,

ARGH!

Bad ideas in culinary substitution

Exhibit A for not substituting things willy-nilly:


Tahini: made from sesame seed paste (from roasted sesame seeds) blended with water, lemon juice, garlic, and parsley. How peanut butter/sesame oil could work as a substitute is absolutely beyond me.