Welcome, WikiScanner

It seems appropriate that a few weeks after my grumblings about the Wikipedia entry for Become Jane, the world is introduced to a Wikipedia Scanner, a tool that tracks who makes edits to Wikipedia entries by matching editors' originating Internet Protocols to known organizational IPs. (If my use of the technojargon is wrong, may Ben strike me down.) It seems like organizations such as the CIA, the BBC, and perhaps even the Vatican were not above keeping their fingers out of the wikipie.

My favourite commentary on the issue, however, is this:

Hard To Tell If Wikipedia Entry On Dada Has Been Vandalized Or Not

Incidentally, others have somewhat cleaned up the Becoming Jane entry but I'm currently too busy working on my syllabus to give it the proper attention it deserves.

When...

watching a Lord of the Rings movie marathon (all three extended cuts back-to-back-to-back), it helps to have:

1. A gracious host who provides all the food—and even cooks it!
2. A comfy couch to sit on
3. Good company with which to joke about Frodo's "ringasm" face and dissect the class implications of Frodo's metaphorical burden vs. Sam's physical burden (no frying pan left behind).
3. Not watched the third movie or read the third book so that there is still some suspense involved (I think that Sam and Frodo should have died on Mt. Doom. But I tend to prefer that movies kill off their protagonists.)
4. Beer. Or at least something to toast with by the time you get to the last DVD.
5. Nothing else to do on a Saturday.

Chapter One

Chapter One, all 38 pages of it, has been sent to my supervisor. I have cleaned my desk (so free of paper!) and filed everything away. A pile of library books on my right is just waiting to be returned. I had a really strange sensation while writing my conclusion that I was supposed to write a chapter one that did not resemble the chapter that I actually wrote. Hmm.

In other news. I bought more yarn today. It's a olive-y, sage-y green. Guess what it's for. (Hint: It will be attempt #2.)

Edited to add:
I just realized that this is post #200. I believe that it is quite appropriate, since it signals an end (the chapter) and new beginnings (the knitting project). (Okay, the knitting project is kind of a do-over, but oh well).

Things I've learned from knitting this ski mask

This damned, frustrating ski mask.


1. I finally understand the purpose of the selvage stitch, i.e., the single stitch knitters sometimes add to each side of their knitting. It's particularly useful if you are knitting separate pieces that will be sewn together.

2. Necks are skinnier than heads. I should have knit the neck smaller.

3. Ribbing can be your friend because it's stretchy. Related to the "necks are skinnier than heads" category.

4. Ribbing, however, does not work when knitting intarsia (a method of incorporating different colours).

5. When knitting something designed from scratch that already looks too big, it's better to have the recipient around (i.e., in the same city) for emergency fittings.

6. The "first pancake rule" (i.e., the first pancake is the imperfect "warm up" pancake) applies to design projects. Duh. I keep telling myself that if it all goes to pot, this is a prototype. Prototypes are good.

7. I am a yarn snob. I cannot shake the guilt of gifting something made from an acrylic/wool blend.

8. Never never never never weave in the ends until you are sure you will not need to unknit anything when you realize that the cable cast-on was done incorrectly because you were too lazy to read step three of the instructions, instead assuming that it read "repeat as in Step 2 until finished." Ahem.

9. The frightening ski masks from a previous post? Patterns here!

China, couldn't be finer

Dear China,

Thank you for no longer giving a damn.

For years I have laboured with the stereotype of the overachieving Chinese student, studious, striving for excellent, respectful of authority. Now, however, I see that I can stop conforming to the unbearable stereotype and let it all hangz out

How else to explain the products you've been exporting recently? First was the contaminated wheat gluten used in pet food, then there was the toothpaste, the toys and now tires. Sure, you overacted by executing the guy in charge of quality control of food and drugs, but that was clearly just a bandaid solution (a bandaid made in China? Indeed!).

I choose to believe that you have embarked on a long-term project of lowering the expectations that every Chinese person living outside China is burdened with from the moment they are born—of being "Chinese." No longer will I feel the need to be detail-oriented (proofreading is for wusses!) or good at math (2+2 = 22!). No more must I feign interest in kung fu movies or pretend to like (ugh!) duck feet.

It can't be that the recall issues are the result of an underregulated economy where the urge for modern efficency and profit uneasily co-exists with a tradition of corruption and corner-cutting. And the rumours that your ability to produce so much (varied!) crap stems from employing industrious Chinese front-line workers who never mutter about their paycheques are blatantly untrue (my gut tells me so). You wouldn't do that to us, would you? Employ the stereotype to break the stereotype? I've heard of tearing down the master's house with the master's tools, but that's got to be pushing it.

I can't wait to see what a fiasco the Olympics will be, what with the pollution and the potential mishandling of human rights protestors.

In short, keep up the bad work.

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S. I just stumbled across a fascinating article about Chinese online computer game players whose job it is to mindlessly kill animals/enemies to collect gold that will be sold for real money to other players through series of middle men. The players are called gold farmers! Chinese gold farmers! Awesome. This development has somewhat shaken my faith in your new "One family, one disaffected child" policy. Clearly you have figured out for yourself how to exploit young, male Chinese labourers looking for gold without shipping them to California and British Columbia. I am appalled by yet oddly attracted to your ruthless efficiency...

What happened to the Apple key?!

Anna and I were ooh-ing and aah-ing at the new, sleek, sexy Apple keyboards tonight (want... want... want...) when she gasped. She had noticed something shocking about the command key:


No Apple! No Apple symbol on the command key!! No more Apple key!

Dear Apple: Please stop pandering to the PC crowd. Bring back the Apple key!! Apple-Z!! Apple-Z!!!

Gettin' with the Inter-times

Signs that Buena Vista Entertainment, which hosts the newly-launched, searchable archive of many (but not all of) Siskel & Ebert (& Roeper)'s reviews, has just discovered this thing called the Inter-Web:

1. No embedding option on the site. How else can I embed the hilarious video of Roger Ebert completely misreading Blue Velvet because he's too busy defending Isabella Rossellini's honour?

2. No "link to this" option on the site so that I can link to specific videos. Cutting and pasting only works if you link to the "Search Results" page instead of the video page itself. Ugh!

3. The site's atrocous, impossible to remember URL: http://bventertainment.go.com/tv/buenavista/ebertandroeper.

4. When you forget the URL but want to find the site, the fact that it appears third (not first?) when you Google "Siskel and Ebert online".

5. The 15-second commercial that plays before each and every clip.
a) First of all, if you want to gorge and look up what Gene & Roger thought about all of Martin Sorcesce movies, you'd have to endure the same commercial before every review.
b) Secondly, the ads are composed of fancy shots of the video viewer itself. The box-within-a-box aesthetic is compounded by the screens in the background of the TV show's set (see image below), resulting in a hell of a lot of ugly screen action.


c) The ad is for the archive itself. Not only is the commercial redundant (there is a huge banner link right above the "screen") but also totally unnecessary. The only time an ad for the archive would be needed is if an individual clip of a review appeared on its own somewhere. But wait—see point #1.
d) The commercial provides a different link to the archive than what appears on the browser. However, it is only somewhat easy to remember: www.atthemoviestv.com. I mean, come on, guys. Believe it or not, www.thumbsup.com is not spoken for!

6. Finally: the rounded corners! Aaaahhh!! The rounded corners! (Okay, this last one is personal. Stop rounded corner abuse!).