Exam 2: Tired

Today's exam didn't go as well as Monday's, but I wasn't expecting that because Monday went well. I spent a little too much time figuring out which questions I wanted to answer — nothing initially jumped out at me and there were too many that I could have answered okay but not fantastic. As it was, I still wrote 10 pages, but the first response was a little unfocused (too much information struggling to get out) and the second response a little thin. Nonetheless, I can address these issues in the oral exam later.

Just very tired afterwards. Had trouble sleeping last night and was awoken two hours early this morning by the dripping of my window (no, it's not fixed yet). Did go back to sleep but it wasn't the same.

Have a plan for tomorrow, a list of things I want to do to prepare for exam 3. If I finish early enough, I'm going to reward myself and go shopping on Whyte Ave. Gravity Pope awaits.

Don't marry a troll who writes for Forbes.com

Some friends and I have been exchanging e-mails today about last week's infamous Forbes.com story entitled "Don't Marry A Career Woman." I didn't particularly want to give it any more attention (I originally stopped reading by paragraph 2), but I need to get this out of my head before I can start reviewing for exam 2 tomorrow.

The gist of the story, which appeared last week and sparked a firestorm (firestorm, I tells ya) of controversy in the blogiverse is that marrying a career woman (defined as someone with college education who works more than 35 hours a week and makes more than 30K USD a year) is more likely to lead to cheating, divorce, less children (though not everyone would see this as a bad thing) and (insult of insults) an untidy home.

I haven't bothered to Google this story to see all the responses online, but of particular note is this response in Slate and a response incorporting Jane Austen in 3 Quarks Daily (and yes, the Mary of Comment #6 is me). The 3QD response contains several errors regarding Austen's marriage prospects (the Cambridge reverend is pure speculation, and no one knows exactly the extent of Austen's relationship with Tom Lefroy), I'm willing to overlook them for the general quality of the argument.

As for the original article, I congratulate the Forbes.com writer on his excellent use of rhetoric to provoke a reaction. He puts the most inflammatory statements first and then "supports" them with vague references to studies even though no specific statistics are provided (it's always "more likely" or "less likely") or scientists quoted. I agree with Shafer that the Forbes author deliberately misinterprets many of the studies as pertaining to career women when they are actually about career parents of both sexes.

The story itself, I believe, is a ploy to get more people to check out the site (it worked) and therefore increase web traffic and ad revenues. Peter Edmunston's article from the New York Times places this latest article in the context of a series of provocatively headlined articles that would never have been published in the print version of Forbes. This makes the article no better than the postings by "trolls" in forums and message boards, postings that deliberately express a strongly contrary opinion merely to stir up trouble (thus the web term "don't feed the troll").

If indeed this was a ploy to generate controversy and web traffic, it lamentably did so by exploiting centuries-old anxieties about powerful women, implying that societies will suffer and men will be punished if we let women have educations, careers, and control over their reproductive capabilities. Everyone (men and women) suffer when such a purposely inflammatory article gains credence. The fact that the reiteration of gender stereotypes seems to have been used to increase profit is just shameful.

And now, everyone, let's make like that Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where all the giant advertising icons came to life and Paul Anka has to write a jingle to stop the destruction: Just Don't Look.

Exam 1: Rocked

Just coming down off the high you get when you know--just KNOW--that you did something well. Exam one was 11 full pages, typed, double-spaced and I had five minutes left over (wasn't rushed at all). It's amazing how focused you can become; all I noticed in the room was my exam paper and the computer--I barely even looked down at the keyboard. I made arguments, I backed up my claims with examples from novels, and I had time to proofread. I feel very good about the first set.

The plan for tonight is to decompress, rest, have dinner, watch Project Runway (which I downloaded last night) and go to bed at a decent hour. Tomorrow I will review for exam two.

Today's good exam was not foreshadowed by last night's mini-adventure. Last night I had the most difficult time sleeping because I was coughing so much (still a little sick). Drinking water seemed to make things worse, and I had no cough syrup at home. By the time it was 2 a.m., I knew that if I didn't do something, I wouldn't be able to sleep at all. So I checked online and learned that the Shoppers Drug Mart three blocks away was opened 24 hours (how come I never noticed that before?). So picture Mary getting dressed and going out at 2 a.m. to buy cough medication the night before her first exam. I didn't hestitate about the medication, either--I bought the extra-strength stuff. It worked and I got enough sleep, thankfully. Oddly, there was still a pharmacist working the overnight shift at Shoppers. Guy seemed a little bitter about his job; he wasn't very helpful.

The Night Before Exam 1

I have a little less than 18 hours until I write my first of three exams. Am I panicking? Um... no. I'm starting to think that I've gotten so good at repressing my panic that I'll never be able to feel agitated again. Also, I suspect that if I were to start panicking, I wouldn't be able to stop and everything would go to shit.

I feel ready. I feel calm. I've packed my bag for tomorrow (water, chocolate, hoodie, scrap paper, pens, wet naps, plus some tissues and Halls in light of my cold). I've reviewed so much that the last thing I want to do right now is read my notes over.

My plan tonight is to go for a walk (because I cannot stay in this apartment any longer) as soon as my laundry is done (waiting for dryer), and then come home, hang out, and go to sleep.

Tomorrow, we write!

Jane Austen: Action Figure

Had dinner with Nat and Doarcey last night, who were in town to see Arone's play at the Fringe Fest. As a good-luck-on-exams present, they gave me this:

The Jane Austen Action Figure is smaller than you'd expect (she stands at a little less than 5.5 inches) and does indeed come with a detachable copy of Pride and Prejudice, a quill pen, and a little writing desk. You can move her arms at the shoulders and elbows, and turn her around at the waist.

I'm debating whether or not to bring her with me to the exam, and also where to keep her once exams are done. Home? Office?

At any rate, many thanks to DarNat, who found her in Victoria on their recent trip.

Squee!

Becoming Jane Rage

From austenblog, a link to the Flash-based Hanway Films, which seems to the British PR company for Becoming Jane, the rather dreadfully-anticipated biopic of Jane Austen coming out next year. Alas, the firm's materials on the movie only increase the dread.

To get to the Becoming Jane synopsis, click on "Our Films" and then "Current Films". The synopsis is enough to give one a coronary, not only for messing up Austen's age the year the story is set, but also for erroneously stating that Austen's sister is married (she never did), for combining elements of Pride and Prejudice (Mr. Collins, anyone?) and Northanger Abbey into what is ostensibly a life story, and for using not one but TWO clichés consecutively: "A cat and mouse game ensues, sparks fly, and over the summer they fall in love." God, who writes this dreck?

To add insult to injury, check out the press release about how Miramax has picked up the North American distribution rights. Click on "Hanway Press" and then the second article from the top, titled "Miramax Awed by Austin [sic]". Seriously? You're promoting the film and you can't get the titular character's name right in a press release?

I've clicked around the site some more, but I can't find an ad for a fact-checker or proofreader anywhere.

Mmm... phlegmy

Five days to go before my exams, and I'm a little sick. Sore throat, phlegmy, tired. A sign to take better care of myself. I'm liquifying and taking Advil. Also typing in short, staccato sentences. What happened to all my conjunctions and clauses?

And now, for something completely different.

Panic... ish?

Today I wrote another practice exam which my supervisor left me before she went away on vacation. It was on list two (my dreaded history of the novel/theory list), and I had to answer one question from Part A, and one question from Part B.

Part B, the theory section, was no problem. I've been freaking about theory and therefore actually studying.

Part A, the novel section, was another story. I completely blanked on both questions, though I did manage to squeak out an answer on #2.

This does not bode well. I guess it means that I'll be reading up more on the novel this week.

One more practice exam (on list three) to go. Don't know what to expect there, but I feel better prepared than I did today.

Whiskers on kittens

This is going to sound sick, but one of my favourite things to do is to peel the layer of lint off a dryer's lint trap. It's particularly satisfying if the lint has formed a thick enough layer to come off in one piece. Mmmm... linty goodness.

(Yes, I did laundry tonight.)

Overheard: Fringe Brunch

Sunday morning(ish), Jeff and I went for brunch at the Highlevel Diner, reputedly one of the best brunch places in Edmonton. I, as always, needed coffee; Jeff had a mimosa:


We sat on the patio, where the sun had melted the little basket of peanut butter and jams on the table, to the point where the peanut butter got very liquid-y:


(I should add here that we didn't discover the pouring peanut butter accidentally. Jeff noticed and then hoped that he would get toast with his breakfast so that he could pour the peanut butter on it. Whatever makes you happy.)

As we ate, I overheard the woman behind me talking to her dining companion. She was clearly a Fringe performer, discussing how she'd felt off during the previous night's show even though it had sold out. She noted regretfully that reviewers were likely in the audience for the poor performance, and then confessed that frankly, she'd never been as unexcited about the show as she was now.

I thought about asking her which show she was involved with, but Jeff said it would be bad form. And while I agree that it would have been rude and embarrassing, I still can't help wondering.

Fringe Fest

This weekend Jeff came up to go to the Edmonton Fringe Festival, second largest alternative theatre festival in the world, next to the monster that is Edinburgh. Despite (supposedly) studying, I did manage to catch a handful of shows with (and one without) Jeff. If any Edmontonians are reading this, do go see The Rez Sisters, a moving, well-written, well-directed play.

Some general things about the Fringe:
• Literally everyone and their dog comes out. We saw so many cute dogs on the Fringe grounds today. Didn't top last year though, when I saw a little puppy being pushed in a baby stroller.
• The number of cute puppies was rivalled only by the number of cute kiddies. This, I believe, is a phenomenon that happens at many festivals.
• I keep running into people that I know, including other grad students, my dept. chair, a professor, and a couple of people who used to live in my building. Oddly, I also ran into an old acquaintance from high school, but we didn't have a chance to talk since the performance was about to start.
• Living four blocks from the Fringe site rocks because you can go home during long-ish breaks between shows and use a non-porta-potty toilet.
• I took Jeff to a hat shop on Whyte Ave., but alas, it seems that Jeff does not look good in hats. Join the club. (The shop, called Head Case, carried a Sherlock Holmes deerstalker cap. Seriously? Who would wear that?)

My plan is to try to sqeeze in a few more shows between/after the studying (or is that squeeze in some studying between the shows?) before the week is out. The exams are only a week away, and yet I am as calm as... as... What finishes this simile?

The Room

Today I got to take a look around the room that I'll be writing my exams in. The word "around" is a bit misleading, though, because the room is tiny, with three walls consisting of filing cabinets and one wall of large, floor to ceiling windows that looking into the Humanities building. There are random computer parts scattered around, interspersed within boxes of files. It's about 6 feet by 6 feet, cold (note to self: bring hoodie) and not very well lit. At least the chairs (two) are cushy, though old.

The room contains two computers, a PC and Mac. However, I would be writing on the PC (and the stupid PC keyboard). Grrr. I also get to bring food and drink with me, so the plan is to pack granola bars, water, napkins, wetnaps, chocolate and buy tea at school in my travel mug.

Now that I've seen the room, I think one thing I'm going to try to do this school year is lobby for a better room for future stressed-out sleep-deprived grad students to write their exams in. My dissertation, after all, is about space and how space affects its subjects. And I can't imagine a better test case than the thoroughly unpleasant room where we have to write our exams.

Garamond!!

For all the typeface geeks who read my blog (and oddly, I know that you're in the majority): There is a Canadian publishing company named after our favourite font.

Garamond Press is now an imprint of Broadview Press, another Canadian publisher that specializes in academic books.

Squee!

P.S. This post is not formatted in Garamond because it wasn't an option in the drop-down menu. Boo Blogger.

NY Times: Benefits of Coffee?

New York Times article about potential health benefits of drinking coffee:

Researchers have found strong evidence that coffee reduces the risk of several serious ailments, including diabetes, heart diesease and cirrhosis of the liver.

It's not that I feel vindicated, exactly. Just... less guilty.

Kind of oddly, the benefits leveled when study subjects drank more than six cups of coffee a day. Six cups?? When would the potential health benefits be outweighed by the inability to fall asleep?

And what, exactly, constitutes a cup? And was this regular drip coffee? Was it espresso? Does one receive the same benefits from one latte that one would from 3 cups of coffee? Inquiring minds want to know.

Alive and dreaming

Yes, yes, still alive despite what must be a record amount of time between posts for me. Exams stress is beginning to build. Last Friday night I had a weird dream/nightmare in which I wrote my second exam (on theory--ugh), but instead of being on the theory on my lists, it was about something incidental (and not theory) that my supervisor had mentioned in the dream. So I had no idea what I wrote, but remember dream-thinking that it sucked and that I had failed. All of a sudden another professor (who isn't even on my committee) was there for no apparent reason, and then I was home after being away for a few days only to find that I'd left a batch of blueberry muffins that I'd baked in the pantry when I'd meant to freeze them, and instead I'd have to throw them out because they'd gone bad.

This is normal, though. My friend Dave also had crazy dreams before his exams, including one where his theory exam consisted solely of questions on Terry Gilliam films and math (e.g., Twelve Monkeys and linear algebra).

Karine has a theory that female grad students dream about babies when they have project/dissertation anxiety. I had one of those in January as I was about to start work on a new project with a new supervisor. In that one I'd actually had a baby and I took my newborn to campus with me to some sort of all-day symposium. It (she?) was the best-behaved baby in the world, sleeping through everything. I could practically feel the weight of her in my arms (oddly, I carried it/her like that for the whole dream; why didn't I have one of those baby carriers, or at least a snuggly?). It wasn't until I was walking to school the next morning that I realized that my baby was white.

Thank god I'm not a psychoanalyst.

It's about fucking time

A pause from my regular blogging (and irregular reading) to thank Warner Home Video and then rant about the MPAA (that's the Motion Picture Association of America, for those of you not in the know).

First of all, good news that I've been waiting for for over a year. The out-of-print-on-VHS 1940 film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is finally—FINALLY—going to be available on DVD Oct. 10. Currently, I only own a copy that I copied from my professor's VHS tape. This is SO going on my wishlist.

However. The Motion Picture Association of America (like its music industry counterpart) is notoriously paranoid about copyright infringement and illegal copying. As a result, many newer DVDs come with built-in copy protection that prevents me, as an academic, from copying relevant 2-minute clips from DVDs to a VHS tape that I can play in class. While DVDs provide superior picture quality and widescreen options (I loves me my wide screen), they are also impossible to cue up to exactly the right section before going into the classroom. When I gave a talk to a fourth-year Austen film adaptation class earlier this year, I had a hellish time coordinating the technonlogy, especially because I was showing five clips from four movies. When juggling that number of clips for a lecture, it's best (and this is something I learned from the film prof I TA'd for last year) to put them all, in order, on one tape that you can simply pause and play as necessary. However, the new DVD technology prevents that.

One way I could conceivably get DVD-quality clips onto VHS is to illegally download the movie and get an S-cable to connect my computer to my VCR. Ironically then, in its bid to prevent illegal downloading, the MPAA has provided another reason to go bitTorrent.

Now, I'm not advocating illegal copying and distribution of movies here. I am, however, expressing my frustration over not being able to copy a short clip under the auspices of fair use for academic purposes. I can't legally photocopy an entire novel and distribute it to my students, but I can certainly put a passage from onto an overhead transparency for a class exercise. Of course, it's easier to reproduce words than it is to reproduce a scene in a movie. Perhaps I'll take those Pride and Prejudice paper dolls that Nicole gave me and act the scene out myself after all: "She is tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me." "I believe, ma'am, I may safely promise you never to dance with him." "In vain have I struggled; you must allow me to tell you how ardently I love and adore you." "Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?"

And... scene.

World On Fire

When the world is falling apart...


















bake cookies and drink beer.

Only Stella, mind you. I'm a grad student; I have an image to maintain.

Oh, and Arcade Fire with David Bowie doesn't hurt, either.

Ceasing Fire

I echo Kris' and Nicole's pleas to donate to the Lebanese Red Cross (or in my case, the Canadian Red Cross because I couldn't get the Lebanese Red Cross website to work for me).

Also, if you are so inclined, think about signing this petition for a ceasefire.

I counter all the talk about principled stands (Mr. Harper) and sustainable, long-term solutions (Mr. Bush) with two points:
1. Calling your own "measured response" response principled implies that anyone who holds a different view takes a stand that is not principled. It's a rhetorical device used by those whose opinions are in the minority and want to shore up their own position. Demanding an immediate ceasefire is also a principled stand; it's just one based on different principles.
2. An immediate ceasefire and a long-term sustainable solution need not be mutually exclusive.

I know the above comments are a little out of date, but they've been in my head for a while and I wanted them out there.

My Filing System

My apartment is littered with bookmarks that have little sticky-note flags (that I cut myself) on them.



As I read (particularly novels, where I don't want to stop to take notes every three pages), I flag important parts, and then go through the book again afterwards and note the relevant passages. As you can see, this can lead to some strange-looking volumes:



I don't intend to take the flags out of the books that are mine, and can't bear the thought of having to remove them from the ones I took out of the library. I'll probably have to consult these books at some point during my dissertation writing process, and while I have the notes in a Word document, I'd also like to have the flags. They're reassuring, a reification of the mental work that I've done and also proof that I've read the book.

I do not use this system for theory books for two reasons. First of all, stopping to flag while reading these involved, difficult books would interrupt the flow of ideas. Trying to pick up the train of thought in theory is more difficult than picking up the plot in a novel. Secondly, I don't always finish a book of theory if I find that it's not useful to me after all, or I will only read selective parts of it. This would result in partial flagging, which would irritate the strongly completist side of me that wants to read everything. I do make marginal notes with my pencil to remind myself of the important parts when I review and take notes, so it's not like I don't have a system at all.

No system at all? That would just be inviting anarchy.

Crazy family-filled weekend

Spent the last three days with my extended family on both my mother's and father's sides who were here to attend an annual school reunion (school was in Vietnam). At one point there were 13 people staying at my parents' house in Calgary, but now that I'm back in Edmonton and two other relatives are staying in Edmonton, it's down to a much more manageable 10. Ha.

Most of us drove up to Edmonton today to attend the reunion at the Shaw Conference Centre downtown (beautiful views of the river valley). Chris came along to take photos with Anna. Everyone stopped at my apartment beforehand to change and freshen up. I must say I've never had 13 people in my apartment at the same time trying to change, do their make-up, and go to the washroom (there's just one). I also realized today that I know very limited parts of Edmonton, and limited routes from Point A to Point B. Having never driven in the city (for a variety of reasons), I felt a little disoriented at times while trying to give directions. Also, I usually had to provide the directions in Cantonese.

No photos since I didn't bring my camera with me. I'll link to Anna's if she ever finds the time to post them.

Some random bits from the trip and reunion:

• Even though I (and my sister, cousins, and family) can tell my mom and her twin sister apart, many people can't. One evening, my dad and aunt went to a function at a restaurant while my mom had to go the airport. Everyone at the function thought my aunt (because she showed up with my dad) was my mom and one woman was a little insulted because she kept calling my aunt by my mom's name and thought she was being ignored. She didn't realize her error until mom walked into the restaurant.
• Chris had so much fun taking photos and generally being a (welcomed) paparazzo, giggling after each set of shots. Seriously. Giggling.
• The faucets, soap dispensers, and paper towel dispensers at the Shaw Conference Centre are all automatic. Oddly though, you have to press a button to flush the toilet.
• While the labour shortage in Alberta means you can get a job anywhere (if you're not picky), it also means that anyone can get a job. This was made quite evident today when we stopped at the most poorly-staffed McDonald's in the world, in Red Deer, where we waited over 20 minutes to order and where the staff clearly just weren't communicating. A frustrated woman dragged her two kids out of there because "there are two dummies up front". Moreover, the wait staff at the Conference Centre all looked to be under 20. One girl was even wearing braces (with those elastic thingies). I did see an older gentleman (about 60? 70?) who had white hair and who was clearly struggling with a large tray of plates. Poor man.
• Dad sang at the banquet tonight as part of the evening's festivities. It was lots of fun, especially when all his Calgary friends went up to the stage and started dancing and waving their napkins at him. We have lots of photos of that.
• You have to ask for it, but Air Canada does give a small (50USD in this case) clothing allowance to let you buy clothes to replace what you need when they lose your luggage. When I told my aunt this, her response in Chinese was, "That's nothing. That's not even enough to buy underwear." Clearly, she was still mad at the airline.

This was my last break before hunkering down to read and review for my exams. Glad to be home, but the silence is kind of eerie.

Mock exam

Today I wrote a mock/practice exam, sitting at my desk for three hours and writing two essays. I didn't manage my time very well and wrote a long essay for part B without a conclusion and a short essay (though I think a better one--more analytic) for part A but without an introduction. Overall, though, I'm pleased with the result because it tells me that I'm prepared for at least the first of my three exams in terms of knowledge. I felt confident in the answers I was giving, and didn't feel like I was drawing too many blanks. In fact, I flipped over the question sheet, skimmed the questions and thought, "that's it?"

So while this would ostensibly make me more confident, I still feel that I'm need to shore up my work on my other two lists (I've been particularly remiss in reading poetry). I still need to leave two weeks at the end for review. In fact, I have just under four weeks until I have to write my first exam.

Why aren't I panicking?