List: Girls' names, place names

My sister and I just wasted a lot of time over Skype tonight coming up with a list of 14 girls names that are also place names, inspired by the roster of America's Next Top Model, cycle 12 (hello, London!). They had to be names that we knew actually existed and they had to be names where the person was conceivably named after the place. It wouldn't surprise me if Tyra Banks were ever to cast an entire cycle's worth of ANTM with the following:

London
Ireland
Dakota
Virginia
Vienna
Asia
Paris
Sydney
Carolina
Florence
Georgia
Amerika
Devon
Brooklyn

We rejected Victoria (too common to be named after a place), considered Brittany (named after Britain), and argued over Oceane (Anna knows of two, but it's not a specific place, and I just don't like the name). Also, we rejected Alberta, because it's not America's Next Top Grandma.

Did we miss any?

List: Things I will never do (child birth edition)

If I ever have a baby, I promise to never

• post an album's worth of Caesarean section photos on Facebook

that is all.

List: Parliament meltdown firsts

In times of "crisis", historic firsts on a personal level:

1. Visiting the C-PAC website, delighting in the fact that there is one and that it plays video on demand! (though not on my computer!)

2. Reading the third joke about proroguing in 2 days, two of which involved perogies.

3. Learning something about the current Canadian parliamentary meltdown from a knitting blog. And a darn good one at that. (It was the fact that though the Bloc support the coalition, they are not official members, which is why they don't get any cabinet positions.)

4. Reading a blog post in which the Governor General is referred to as a "local distributed queenship node".

5. Being informed that despite the media silence in the States, the story is getting some attention in Israel.

List: Why I {heart} the Calgary Stampede

Is the Calgary Stampede a one-trick civic pony that cheapens the city's international image? No, of course not. In fact, there are a multitude of amazing, astounding, awesome things that make the Stampede great. For example:

1. Obvious economic boon from the tourist dollars.

2. Albertan premiers get pied (or attempted-pied) at their annual Stampede Breakfasts. Affordable housing for all!!!!

3. This photo:

4. And this subsequent, um, homage:


5. Internationalism: proves that people all over the world are suckers for cowboys. Speaking of...

6. Raises the profiles of fine establishments like Cowboys, a place frequented by actual royalty.

7. $tampede. $tampede. $tampede.

8. How every local station has to broadcast at least part of its dinnertime newscast from the Stampede grounds.

9. Educational: ability to understand the subtle distinction between "YA-HOO!" and "YEE-HAW!" (Anyone? Anyone?)

10. Oh, look at the cute ponies! They're so keeeewt! I want a horsie! Oh, shit.

Happy $tampedin', y'all. See you in August.

List: This quarter in analytics

In lieu of a dissertation post, tonight I present: odd info from my blog stats

Most popular search term that has lead to my blog: "knocked up controversy" (clearly this post)

However, if you take the results from "facebook remove friend" and add it to all the other search terms that are variations on "remove" "friend" and "facebook", the result greatly outweighs the Knocked Up hits. So for the record: if you remove a friend on Facebook, no one ever gets notified. How do I know this? It's a long story, but it's actually not my long story, so it's not getting told. I also know that if you reject a friend request on Facebook, nothing happens either.

Edited to add: A further test has confirmed that indeed nothing happens when you remove a friend from your Facebook list (i.e., they receive no notification). So go on, people, passive-aggressively break up with your friends online (or would that be your online friends?). Oh, the Internet. You are good for so many things.

Some of the odder search strings that lead back here:
brothel twickenham
chiswick brothels
eloping in london
neighbours having sex
"jena malone" "pride and prejudice" annoying
underbite keira knightley
"globe and mail" + "book review" + schadenfreude
hollywood actors who are credit card fraud victims (twice?)

And my personal favourite:
elizabeth bennett, drill sergeant

List: Hypothetical reasons for removing someone as a Facebook friend

Karine and I got a little silly on MSN tonight thinking about reasons that one would remove a friend on Facebook (not to be confused with not accepting someone as a friend in the first place). What if Facebook required a reason before allowing you to unfriend someone? What could they be?

1. "She got drunk and made out with my boyfriend." [You could also use the "event" option to specify at which party this occurred!]
2. "Never returned a movie I rented."
3. "Regifted the CD I got him for Christmas."
4. "Borrowed a book from me and wrote in it. In pen."
5. "When we go out for dinner, she never pays her fair share of the bill."
6. "Refused to set me up with a friend because 'I don't want to be held responsible for the consequences.'"
7. "Latently racist."
8. "Made a pass at my mom."
9. "Watches The Colbert Report unironically."
10. "Lied about living in Iceland."
11. "Prefers MySpace."
12. "I can't remember why I accepted his/her friend request in the first place."
13. "Not interested in 'anything I can get' after all."
14. "EMOTIONAL FUCKWIT."
15. "Got her pregnant."

List: London by the numbers

Times I've been asked for directions: 3 (once on the street, twice on the tube)

Cost of replacing ID lost when purse was stolen: $90 so far ($15 for U of A ID, $75 for Canadian Citizenship card)

Cost of requesting copy of police report for insurance purposes: £10 (not yet done)

Houses visited: 7 (Osterley, Syon, Kenwood, Chiswick, Strawberry Hill, Johnson's, Franklin's); 8 if you count Jane Austen's

Archives/Libraries visited: 2 (Soane's, Geffrye)

Tube lines taken: 8 (Jubliee, Picadilly, Victoria, Northern, Central, Bakerloo, District, Metropolitan)

Bookshops visited: 11 (seven on Charing Cross Road, one in Charmouth, one in West Hampstead, one in Notting Hill, and the book stalls on the South bank in front of the BFI)

Pints consumed: uh...

Hours spent with Nicole: uh...

Hours spent consuming pints with Nicole: ...

Total days spent in UK: 23 (April 25–May 16)

Total days lived in new apartment before leaving for the UK: 24 (April 1–24)

Hours of flight home: 9

List: New Apartment/Old Apartment

Things I miss about the old apartment:

• top (third) floor corner
• southern exposure with bedroom window facing west
• huge living room
• lots of storage
• light and airy

Things I like about the new apartment:

• green carpet instead of pukey brown
• water tight
  
• no giant holes in the walls of front room where dry wall was removed to dry out wet wall from leak
• new sofabed (thanks, Karine!)
• more storage
• brighter bathroom

Things I'll have to get used to in the new apartment:

• all windows face east, therefore apartment is less bright and airy
• more noisy neighbours, being on the second floor

The weirdest part is that the kitchen is similar to but not the same as the old kitchen, meaning that instead of adjusting to a whole new layout, I have to negotiate a weird layout that resembles the old one. It's kind of backwards, but not entirely.

Photos tomorrow. Fully unpacked (though could use an IKEA trip) but photos not yet hung.

List: My Funny Valentines

Jon Stewart (The Daily Show) The thinking woman's sex god. Sure, he's been letting Colbert steal his thunder, but you never forget your first love.













John Oliver (The Daily Show) Never underestimate the power of a line delivered in an English accent and a wry tone. I still have a soft spot for his frenzied rant about the new no-liquids policy on airplanes: "What about yogurt? We all know there's fruit on the bottom, but what else lurks there?"




John Krasinki (The Office US) Okay, apparently men on television named Jo(h)n are funny. Watch the US version of the office (rent the DVDs, if you must) and be prepared to laugh and swoon. Not particularly in that order.


Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

List: Babies and the Diss

List inspired by seeing the cute university daycare kids in their snowsuits today. Oh, my uterus.

Ways that my dissertation is like a baby:

1. Long gestation period followed by difficult delivery process
2. Will likely weigh more than 5 lbs at birth/completion
3. Labour-intensive
   
4. Can bring it into department, all shiny and new, to show off to office staff and friends, admiring special details like footnotes/feet and fingers/appendices
   
5. Writing process makes me crave weird foods like beef jerky, cherry Coke, scrambled eggs, and yes, pickles. Expect pregnancy to be equally odd. Hopefully cravings will not include ice cream, as am lactose intolerant
   
6. Will be up late at night trying to put it to bed
7. Can't work on either during Department Council
8. Both will somehow have something to do with Jane Austen
   

Ways that my dissertation is not like a baby:

1. One is organic; the other is inorganic
   
2. One will take up all my time; the other is supposed to take up all my time
3. One will require me to cut back on consumption of caffeine and alcohol; the other will be alleviated and even enabled by consumption of said substances
4. Can't edit baby if unhappy with first version
5. Dissertation won't fit into cute CBC one-sie
   

Missing and Not Missing

Things I miss about Calgary:

1. Calgary friends and family (and friends from out of town who always come home for Christmas)
2. Not having to cook most of my meals (Thanks, mom!)
3. Electric bill that's not mine
4. Proximity to specialty yarn store
5. Cable TV
6. Fantastic dim sum
7. Ming on 17th Ave (now smoke free!)
   

Things I missed about Edmonton:

1. Edmonton friends
2. High Speed Internet (wheeeeee!)
3. Thermostat control
4. Location close to Whyte Ave, shops, sushi, good coffee
5. Breakfast with friends every other Wednesday
6. My duvet
7. Always knowing where my keys are

Things I wish were missing from Edmonton:

1. The big pile of work I have to do, mainly writing Chapter One (as if I'm even close to starting)
2. The pile of bills that awaited me in my mailbox
   

Happy New Year, everyone!